If you’ve been following along for the last couple blog posts, then you know two things. First, yes, I am pimping my OLD SCHOOL collection with the relentlessly solipsistic rapaciosness usually reserved for politicians on the stump. Second, I’d never written any short fiction until I ran into my first flash fiction challenge.
So what better way to mark the release of OLD SCHOOL, many of the the stories in which were first spawned in response to such challenges, than to run one of my own? And what better way to justify buying a mess of my own books to push up my numbers than to offer them as prizes?
All I need is a topic. Just so happens that today for the first time in our peculiar local winter, we had some real snow. So a story with snow. Snow as a theme, snow as a symbol, snow as what some poor fish in his first night on the cellblock is thinking about to take his mind off the burning sensation in his rectum from the 300-pound biker that’s riding his ass like he’s Secretariat — I don’t care what kind of literary three-rail shot you use, just bake in some snow.
Reigning you all in a little here, though – 500 words or less this time.
Post your story where you like and dump the link in the comments box right here when you’re done – I’ll add your name and link to the blog as we go. You’ve got until the end of February, which, given the vagaries of the Gregorian calendar gives you one whole extra day this year.
First ten stories get their very own free copy of OLD SCHOOL as a prize. Already bought one? Well bless your little heart – I’ll ship a free copy to the friend or, depending on your opinion of my work, enemy of your choice.
I’m not done. I’m going to give my favorite story out of the submissions the famous O’Shea audio treatment, post a recording of it right up here on the ol’ blog.
More? As they say in those annoyingly load and strangely accented voices on the infomercial channels, that’s not all. I’m writing my own snow story. I’m not posting it on the blog, though. I’m recording it and shipping the file off to anybody who leaves me an Amazon review – good or bad – by the end of March. Of course, I can’t track you down through the review, so you’ll have to get in touch. DM me on twitter (@dboshea), message me on Facebook (Daniel B. O’Shea), whatever. Post your review and then get me an e-mail link and the bonus story is all yours.
If you’re one of the first ten that gets a free OLD SCHOOL, I guess you better do that too, unless I already know how to get in touch with you or you feel like leaving your e-mail address in the comments box for all to see. Don’t make me track your ass down.
I know what you’re thinking. “Awfully fine opinion you’ve got of yourself there sport, thinking I’m gonna do something just to get one of your stories.” That and “You sad, pathetic bastard, are you really that desperate to sell books that you’re gonna whore yourself out like this? Gotta bribe people for reviews?”
Yes, yes and yes.
Have at it peeps.
The Snowmen (I suppose I should say Snowpeople, but that just sounds stupid)
N. Celestina White (free book is on its way)
Cassaelet (no link – read her story below in comments. Another OLD SCHOOL winner.)
Matthew Swinney (free book is on its way)
K.K. Van Eps (another free book out the door)
Dale Long (five down, five to go)
Snellopy (only four left!)